[ Hey, Chuuya, you know how you haven't heard from Dazai much because he's been coming home really late and leaving really early and the only signs that he's slowly dying are the flower petals and blood-soaked tissues in the trash can and Dazai's innate stubborn refusal to actually confront his own mortality?
Anyway, there's a message left for Chuuya, when Dazai feels like he might actually be dying. Dazai's voice is a bit raspy, and the message is just a voice message -- it sounds a bit dire, actually, but Dazai speaks with his normal, careful, bored intonation. ]
I didn't leave the mafia because of you. I left because Mori-san weighed his options and decided the Mafia's gifted permit was worth more than the life of one of three people I cared about, and then I lost the second one, and I didn't want to stick around to lose the third. [ Dazai does not, explicitly, state who this is, because he's being honest but not that much. The message temporarily breaks off -- Dazai is having a coughing fit -- before it resumes. ]
I blew up your car so you wouldn't follow me and so Mori-san couldn't try and say you'd been in on it at all. Which, in fairness, you weren't, but I couldn't trust that he wouldn't decide getting me back was worth more than you, and you were always more loyal, anyway. [ So Dazai wasn't going to make Chuuya choose between him and the Port Mafia, or Mori, or whatever. ]
Anyway, everything I've heard here says that when you die you'll come back, just a bit more traumatized than before, so keep looking after Atsushi-kun for me. [ A beat, and then: ] Partner.
[ It's a bit superfluous to bother telling Chuuya any of these truths when Dazai is still going to die, but it means that the pain of hacking up petals dies down enough that Dazai can strategize more appropriately on how he's going to actually die. ]
Oh! Also, on your seventeenth birthday, when you were laid up after Corruption, you did get a bunch of really nice presents, I just stole all of them. Ane-san sent you wine that tasted like diesel fumes and communion grape juice.
[ He adds this all as an afterthought, very cheerfully, to make sure he's going out on the appropriate note. ] I poured it into the river.
[ bye bestie see u soon more traumatized than ever ]
[ The feed clicks on with the camera lens-down in the grass. There's some shuffling, the sound of clothes shifting, and then Chuuya's sleep-muddled voice asking: ]
The hell did you do?
[ Also, how long has he been out? Chuuya feels like he's been asleep for weeks? ]
[ Dazai observes the fact that Chuuya would never let himself look this much like a narcoleptic slug normally and is suddenly glad that he hasn't, actually, played any terribly pranks on Chuuya... largely because they're living together. ]
You've been gone for awhile, so I ate most of the food.
[ Chuuya drops his phone to his side and heaves a huge sigh. He stands and Dazai will be able to see a shower of flower petals and leaves cascade to the ground before he rights the phone again. ]
From what I've heard, that's not terribly unusual. People come and go, disappear and reappear... sometimes they're different. [ Chuuya doesn't seem different, though, so it's fine.
If Chuuya was different Dazai might actually lose his shit a little. ]
What I have to talk about is tangentially related to that concept, but I'd rather discuss it in private.
[ He doesn't feel different, but if he really was how would he know? So he ignores it for now, and sets to checking himself over to make sure everything is where it should be.
He doesn't comment on the fact that his coat is neatly folded in a pile next to him. ]
I'll get alcohol - but you gotta go replace the food you ate.
I ate all the things that I could cook before they went bad, but you were gone for awhile, so... [ So he had to throw some things away, because Dazai is aware when cooking things is beyond him, and cooking most things... is beyond him.
Ehh, Chuuya, that's mean... [ But he's slithering towards the door, because that's a fair point. He doesn't want Chuuya to die of starvation, probably. Even though he'd come back. He just GOT back. Ugghhh. ]
Technically, you're the one who let the food go bad! I kept it from going to waste!
I think there's some rice in the cupboard. [ Dazai didn't eat that, because he didn't want to try cooking it without a rice cooker in Chuuya's nice pot. He has the general idea of how you cook rice, but the only two times he's tried have ended in fire. ]
I'll get something. Can you cook? [ It's a moderately nicer question: Dazai is asking if Chuuya has the energy, rather than the ability, because he knows Chuuya can cook. He does it for Dazai all the time.
He just usually hasn't been in a weird sleep for ages first. ]
[ Crab cakes count as a side... right? Sure. Of course they do! Why wouldn't they! ]
Okaaaay. [ He drags the word out idly, because it's habit, at this point. ]
I'll see you at home. Don't disappear again! [ It's his normal sing-song, but there's a hint of an edge there: Chuuya really was gone awhile, and Dazai is a bit frayed because of it. You know, because they're allies. And Chuuya cooks. No other reason. ]
[ His tone is dismissive... but at the same time, not that dismissive. He's not planning on disappearing any time soon.
He knows already that Dazai is probably going to get something crab-related for dinner, so when he stops to get alcohol he makes sure to prioritize wine that will go well with seafood - even if it'll clash with the karaage.
He beats Dazai home simply by virtue of having less to grab from the store. By the time Dazai also returns, Chuuya is in the middle of tidying up. So when he hears Dazai enter he, naturally, hits him with a supremely annoyed look. ]
A mess was made around me. [ Certainly, Dazai had no part in it. It was completely out of his hands. A beat, and then: ]
I washed your bedding. [ Because he slept in it. Like, he's still slept in it since then, but he did wash it at least once while Chuuya was gone, so there's that. Dazai wanders over to set down his items and then surveys the alcohol, draping over one of the chairs to stare at it. He knows better than to open it himself; last time he tried to drink out of the bottle Chuuya nearly brained him with it. ]
You really were gone quite awhile. I was starting to worry that you had left for real. [ Dazai glances at Chuuya out of the corner of his eye, unwilling to give too much away. ]
When I died, it was quicker. Apparently not-dying is more time consuming.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice; un: bandages (cw: implied suicide) [1/2]
Anyway, there's a message left for Chuuya, when Dazai feels like he might actually be dying. Dazai's voice is a bit raspy, and the message is just a voice message -- it sounds a bit dire, actually, but Dazai speaks with his normal, careful, bored intonation. ]
I didn't leave the mafia because of you. I left because Mori-san weighed his options and decided the Mafia's gifted permit was worth more than the life of one of three people I cared about, and then I lost the second one, and I didn't want to stick around to lose the third. [ Dazai does not, explicitly, state who this is, because he's being honest but not that much. The message temporarily breaks off -- Dazai is having a coughing fit -- before it resumes. ]
I blew up your car so you wouldn't follow me and so Mori-san couldn't try and say you'd been in on it at all. Which, in fairness, you weren't, but I couldn't trust that he wouldn't decide getting me back was worth more than you, and you were always more loyal, anyway. [ So Dazai wasn't going to make Chuuya choose between him and the Port Mafia, or Mori, or whatever. ]
Anyway, everything I've heard here says that when you die you'll come back, just a bit more traumatized than before, so keep looking after Atsushi-kun for me. [ A beat, and then: ] Partner.
[ It's a bit superfluous to bother telling Chuuya any of these truths when Dazai is still going to die, but it means that the pain of hacking up petals dies down enough that Dazai can strategize more appropriately on how he's going to actually die. ]
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[ He adds this all as an afterthought, very cheerfully, to make sure he's going out on the appropriate note. ] I poured it into the river.
[ bye bestie see u soon more traumatized than ever ]
video; un: bandages [1/2]
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The hell did you do?
[ Also, how long has he been out? Chuuya feels like he's been asleep for weeks? ]
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[ Dazai observes the fact that Chuuya would never let himself look this much like a narcoleptic slug normally and is suddenly glad that he hasn't, actually, played any terribly pranks on Chuuya... largely because they're living together. ]
You've been gone for awhile, so I ate most of the food.
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I was in the Labyrinth for... a while.
[ A week, maybe? It was hard to tell. ]
I don't remember leaving.
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If Chuuya was different Dazai might actually lose his shit a little. ]
What I have to talk about is tangentially related to that concept, but I'd rather discuss it in private.
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He doesn't comment on the fact that his coat is neatly folded in a pile next to him. ]
I'll get alcohol - but you gotta go replace the food you ate.
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On Chuuya's nice cookware, anyway. ]
But I'll go shopping tomorrow.
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Technically, you're the one who let the food go bad! I kept it from going to waste!
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[ But... fuck, that means he probably has to shell out for something Dazai wants, now. Ugh. ]
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I'll get something. Can you cook? [ It's a moderately nicer question: Dazai is asking if Chuuya has the energy, rather than the ability, because he knows Chuuya can cook. He does it for Dazai all the time.
He just usually hasn't been in a weird sleep for ages first. ]
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[ He feels a little out of it, but not that bad. Not so bad that he can't make something simple, like... ]
Get stuff for karaage and whatever kind of side you feel like.
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Okaaaay. [ He drags the word out idly, because it's habit, at this point. ]
I'll see you at home. Don't disappear again! [ It's his normal sing-song, but there's a hint of an edge there: Chuuya really was gone awhile, and Dazai is a bit frayed because of it. You know, because they're allies. And Chuuya cooks. No other reason. ]
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[ His tone is dismissive... but at the same time, not that dismissive. He's not planning on disappearing any time soon.
He knows already that Dazai is probably going to get something crab-related for dinner, so when he stops to get alcohol he makes sure to prioritize wine that will go well with seafood - even if it'll clash with the karaage.
He beats Dazai home simply by virtue of having less to grab from the store. By the time Dazai also returns, Chuuya is in the middle of tidying up. So when he hears Dazai enter he, naturally, hits him with a supremely annoyed look. ]
You made a fucking mess of this place.
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I washed your bedding. [ Because he slept in it. Like, he's still slept in it since then, but he did wash it at least once while Chuuya was gone, so there's that. Dazai wanders over to set down his items and then surveys the alcohol, draping over one of the chairs to stare at it. He knows better than to open it himself; last time he tried to drink out of the bottle Chuuya nearly brained him with it. ]
You really were gone quite awhile. I was starting to worry that you had left for real. [ Dazai glances at Chuuya out of the corner of his eye, unwilling to give too much away. ]
When I died, it was quicker. Apparently not-dying is more time consuming.